Part 5: Fighting the Good Fight

I feel as though this 5-part series could've been a 12-part series instead. I always find it hard to condense things. My posts, whether on Facebook or on here, are very long. I would like to end this series on a more generalized topic. So many young Christians lose their patience, hope, and clarity when trying to keep up with their spiritual walk. What do you do when you feel like life keeps beating you down? You make attempts to change your ways but it's too hard. You begin to drown in your secrets, your failed attempts, and the facade that covers the person you are supposed to be. How in the world do you escape it? Lucky for us, God has all the answers we will ever need.

2 Timothy 4:7-"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

1. When making the right choice seems too hard...

• Analyze why making the right choice is hard for you.
• Does it come from a place of fear? Fear of being rejected or made fun of? 
• Does it come from a place of habit? If one does something for so long, we rarely stop and think about our actions. Be conscious of your behaviors and recognize the flaws. 
• Pause, ignore the parts of yourself that make excuses and try to convince you to continue with the sinful behavior. 
• Fight these thoughts with Scripture (Job 34:4, 1 Thessalonians 5:21, 2 Timothy 2:19, Proverbs 14:12).
• Stop and say a prayer, asking God to give you strength.
• Simply say no and choose to be Christlike in the situation.

2. When you can't seem to change...

• Change does not happen overnight, especially when you've been living a certain way for a long time.
• In order pave the way for your success at change, you must first start with God. Pray when you first wake up in the morning. Pray on your drive to school. Pray when you lose patience, when you become judgmental, irritable, angry, etc. Pray without ceasing. Pray before bed. Prayers do not have to be verbal. Write down your prayers if that is easier.
• Read your Bible/Devotional book every day. Invest in getting the Bible App on your phone, which comes with daily plans to follow for all situations.
• Continually ask God to help transform your heart and mind. 
• Remember that we do not have the ability to completely transform ourselves. Only God can truly change our hearts and transform our minds.
• Think on these verses; 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ezekiel 36:26, Romans 12:2, Philippians 1:6.

3. When the confusion gets confusing.

• Life can become hard to decipher at times, making it hard to think or feel clearly.
• God is not unaware of our struggles. Find comfort in the fact that there is nothing that God has not already seen or heard of. He knows the full depth of the past, present, and future. You are not alone in your struggles.
• Open yourself up to others by asking for prayers or seeking out a mentor who you feel comfortable with.
• Talk to them about what you're dealing with. It may surprise you how many people have dealt with what you may be dealing with.
• When the world around us is unpredictable and harsh, God is not. He is the same always and will not leave you (Hebrews 13:5).
• Press on. Take it one day at a time, trying your best to improve where you can. 

4. Getting rid of the facade...

• We know who we truly are when we're alone. When our friends, family, and strangers are gone, we see who we really are.
• Guys, it's time for you to start being raw, honest, and real.
• Get real about your struggles, your downfalls, and your faith.
• Secrets may come out, and mistakes may be revealed to others, but it is better than living a life of lies and hidden sin.
• Dealing with the consequences of ones actions is enough to keep the mask on. Face the truth and the reality of who you've been and what you've done. 
• Let yourself feel. Stop pretending you are someone that you know you aren't. Let yourself be 100% raw and unvarnished version of yourself.
• After you've let it all come out, you can move on start working on change. 
• When you realize that church camp is not the only place to be honest and spiritually active, you need to try every day to face your struggles and work on them.
• You will fall. You will fail. God does not expect us to be perfect, He just asks us to try.

You can overcome. You can change. You can with God. Not only can you do all of these things, but you need to do all of these things. You have to. And so do I. Start living life truthfully. Get rid of all the fake, petty, embellishment that you cover up your truth with. God will guide you and lead you, if you let Him. 

I hope you have gained something from this series, just as I have. I pray you find comfort and encouragement in this, as well as truth. 

                                                                                                             God Bless, Kendall Roberts

Part Four: Liar, Liar...

Honesty. It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes. It may be even harder to be an honest person. I'm not talking about saying what is on your mind all the time. I'm talking about being a person of integrity by being honest. Honesty takes on many forms, so let's assess every aspect of it, shall we?

Luke 6:45 says, "A good man out of good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. FOR OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART HIS MOUTH SPEAKS."

So, you see, lying isn't just a sin, but it is a representation of who we are at our core. What we say and how we utilize those words is parallel to what our heart is full of. Deceit? Truth? Insecurity? Deception? Honesty? Humility? What will it be?

1. Honesty with Others.
3. Honesty with Ourselves.
4. Making Excuses.

Honesty isn't as black & white as everyone seems to think. It isn't just lie/truth. It goes far beyond a simplistic verbal expression. It roots itself in the mind and the heart of a person. It also prevents us from being a true Christian influence in order to bring others to Christ

1. Dishonesty with Others.

• When someone confides in you and you deliberately turn around and tell everyone you know about what they said, not only have you betrayed their trust, but you have also just proven how dishonest you are.
• It's a big, bright, flashing sign saying "don't trust me with anything".
• Stop lying. 
• Stop lying about the simple things. 
• Stop lying TO other people ABOUT other people. 
• Liars are not only untrustworthy, but they stir up strife, spread rumors, cause enmity, and become incredibly manipulative. 
• Dishonest people may complement a person and then make brutal attacks on that person behind their back. 
• Dishonest people lie to their parents because they know what they're doing is wrong. This means one is quieting their conscience in order to please the flesh.

2. Dishonesty with Ourselves-Hiding Behind the Lies.
Being dishonest often stems from a place of insecurity. People are dishonest for several reasons.

• They don't want to get in trouble.
• They want others to view them in a very specific, controlled way.
• They know that lying will help them manipulate a situation or person to their advantage/that person's disadvantage.
• If one is not comfortable with themselves, they feel the need to overcompensate.
• Being open to others (being genuine) will show people the parts of themselves they think need to stay hidden.
• Truly dishonest people often lie without hesitation, as they have allowed it to become second nature.
• Insecure people who feel like they are not enough will tell themselves they have to lie in order to present a picture-perfect image of themselves. 
• This makes them feel like they have control over what people think about them. 
• Often times, a liar will bring others into a lie, either spreading a rumor or twisting a situation into something it wasn't. This helps them seem like the "good guy" or the "victim". 
• Playing these cards makes them feel a sense of importance and helps them gain attention from others whether it be support, pity, or admiration. 

3. Making Excuses

• Do you lie about situations and twist it to portray a negative image of someone else?
• Do you pretend to be one way and then act like a completely different person around somebody else, contradicting your previous behavior and attitudes?
• Do you fabricate stories or exaggerate situations to create a false image of yourself?
• Do you listen and allow others to be open to you and then spill the conversation to others?
• Do you find yourself lying about things that do not have any significance (lying for no reason)?
• Do you own up to your downfalls and/or mistakes, or do you downgrade the severity of your actions?
• It doesn't matter if you're someone who tells a "little lie" now and then or someone who lies for a living...we all tell ourselves that its OK. That it isn't that bad, or that we have to.
• Making excuses for our lies keeps us comfortable in them, when what we should really be doing is making ourselves uncomfortable in them.

As a Christian, lying makes others view us as hypocrites. We are called to spread the Gospel, not gossip. We are called to be kind, humble, and to possess integrity. How can we truly live like Christ, when our mouths speak of things that are untruthful and deceitful? We can't. This post may seem like a blatant attack on a very specific trait, but I find it to be necessary. If you lie to friends, you'll lie to your parents. If you lie to your parents, you'll lie to yourself. If you lie to yourself, you'll try to lie to God...attempting to hide away your mistakes, pretending like they don't exist. 

The Solution:

• Find yourself in God's truth. Not a representation of physical beauty or attributes, but a description of your value and worth by God's standard.
• Search for God's approval by living each day by His standard, making the opinions of other less important.
• Realize that if you betray someone's trust, you create a permanent mark on your reputation.
• Would you want someone to share your secrets and feelings with others without your consent? Then stop doing it to them.
• Your parents aren't perfect. Neither are you, so allow yourself to admit your faults and mistakes. They should respond with love and understanding. But remember that there are always consequences.
• It is better to look imperfect to man while gaining God's favor, than to lose His favor while looking perfect to man.
• Accept your insecurities instead of trying to pretend like you have none. Then you can start to work on changing them.

Honesty is crucial to living a Christian life. When we begin to fabricate and make things up, we build a world composed of lies and undeniable deception. We then lose sight of God's will, the importance of His commandments, and the necessary blatancy of reality which keeps us focused on the ultimate goal. Strive to be honest and open. It's time we own up to who we are and who we are not. Acknowledge the faults in order to change them. Don't live in a world of fantasy, but instead in a world of God's truth. 

                                                                                                                     God Bless, Kendall Roberts

Part Three: What is Love...

Dating. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Lets go there.

One may wonder how someone who has never had a boyfriend can give advice on relationships. What if I were to tell you that the reason I have yet to have a boyfriend is not because I haven't had the opportunity, but because I am waiting for the right one?

As I stated in Part One of this series, we do not like to be alone. This is especially relevant when talking about dating. This loneliness often leads people to seek for comfort, acceptance, and attention in the wrong people. Not only is this a very dangerous place to find oneself in, but can lead to undesirable consequences. 

What kind of person should you look for? Is casual dating even a thing? What does a Godly relationship look like?

1. What kind of person should you look for? 

• As a Christian, you should be looking for someone who is also a Christian as seen in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and Amos 3:3.
• If the person you want to date or are dating is not a Christian, it is your duty to try and bring them to Christ. 
• If you make no effort to study with them, you are not only abandoning what God calls you to do, but you are not creating a sound foundation for the future of your relationship.
• You should be looking for someone who will support you in your faith, initiating prayer and devotionals (just as you should too).
• Are they active in the church? Whether it be leading prayers, serving communion, etc. are they involved?
• Do they practice their faith outside of church?
• You should be looking for someone who will help you strengthen your relationship with God.
• Find a guy/girl who works with you to abstain from sexual temptation (see previous post).
• If the guy/girl does not find it necessary to involve family and friends in the relationship in order to reduce temptation, it's time to either have a life-changing conversation or say goodbye.
• Does the object of your affection spend time with people who have the same values?
• Do they proudly talk about their faith and make it known to their friends?
• Are they spiritually and emotionally mature?
• Do they obey and respect their parents?
• Are they earnestly working on their faults and making a sincere effort to repent from the sins they struggle with?

2. Is casual dating even a thing?

• No.
• By Christian standards, one should date to marry.
• Dating casually implies that marriage is not your idea of being joined with another person. Sexual temptation is stronger and abstaining seems to be less important when the significance is not placed on marriage.
• Now that we have decided that casual dating is not a practice one should be involved in, we can conclude that choosing the right person to date means we should be looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. 
• This makes it all the more important to choose a worthy man or woman to be with.

3. What does a Godly relationship look like?

• Let us refer to the love chapter starting in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
• I am not sure where this came from, but I once stumbled across an excerpt where it was told to insert the name of the person with whom your interest lies into the passage.
• "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
• So...did they fit?
• Let's make one thing clear. It is very plausible that a person can be kind, humble, patient, etc. and still be involved in sinful behavior. Sin does not always present itself as something dark and evil. Sometimes, it seems comfortable and without fault. That is what makes it so scary.
• If you believe what you have with someone is love, evaluate every part of it.
• If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are involved with each other sexually, it is not love. Not according to 1 Corinthians 13:6. 
• Love does not rejoice in evil or wrongdoing. If it is a Godly love, a Christian love, and a true love, it will flourish in God's truth...not in sin and earthly desires.

The Solution:

• Even if it means being alone, you should search for someone who meets all of the requirements that God deems important.
• Do not place so much emphasis on having a girlfriend or boyfriend that it becomes the only place you find your worth.
• By studying how God views you and searching the Word for His intentions, you will find your worth in Him instead of in another person.
• Find the parts of yourself which make you feel like you have to have a girlfriend or boyfriend to feel loved, attractive, or important. Ask yourself if those are valid thoughts. What does God say?
• Open up to a fellow brother or sister in Christ. Speak to them about their marriage and how they built it in God's truth.
• Realize that many people have pursued a relationship they believed to be "OK" and are now married to someone who refuses to attend church, support their endeavors in Christ, and someone who makes no attempt to practice Godliness.
• It is better to be alone, searching for someone who God intends for you to be with, than to ignore God's will for you and end up with someone whose life does not align with your faith.

Verses to Remember:

• 1 Peter 3:7
• Proverbs 31:30
• Proverbs 18:22
• Ephesians 5:33
• Ephesians 5:28

I hope and pray you find the truth in this. Any opinions, comments, or questions are welcome. I pray that God will prick hearts through this or give answers to those who need them through these words. 

                                                                                                                   God Bless, Kendall Roberts

Part Two: Why Wait?

*WARNING* Uncomfortable territory ahead.

James 1:14 "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.

Sex. Yup...there it is. With the influence of friends (see previous post) and technology, sexual culture is an overwhelming issue swirling around young Christians like a seemingly unavoidable vortex. I'm not holding back. This issue resides in many churches and within many homes, often going unnoticed and ignored.

Young Christians get involved in relationships but are not ready to take on the responsibility of abstaining until marriage. One can clearly guess what this leads to.

Why should one refrain from sex anyway? Is it really that important? What does God say about it? Are my technicalities valid? Let's answer these questions and cover all the bases.

1. Why should I abstain?

• Simply because God says so in Hebrews 13:4. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
• He also states that we should do away with our sexual immorality in Colossians 3:5. "Therefore put to death your members which are on earth; fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."
• When reading 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, we can conclude that having sex with someone is intended for marriage because "the two shall become one flesh". This passage states that if one is joined with a harlot, then they are one body with the harlot. 
• If sex makes two people one, then having sex with multiple people means you have become one with multiple people.
• Sex is intended for marriage because the two should become one only in marriage, as seen in Genesis 2:24. 

2. Is it really that important/What does God say about it? *Get your Bible out*

• 1 Corinthians 6:18
• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
• 1 Corinthians 7:2
• Ephesians 5:5
• 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
• 1 Peter 2:11
• 1 Corinthians 10:8
• 1 Corinthians 6:13
• Revelation 21:8
• Jude 1:7
• Mark 7:20-23
• Galatians 5:19-21
• Matthew 15:19
• I believe the above scriptures should answer that question.

3. Are my technicalities valid?

• The excuse "we aren't technically having sex" is used often. Just because you aren't having "sex" doesn't mean it is not sin. Sexual immorality is engaging in anything sexual.
• People constrict the boundaries of sex to a very specific act in order to excuse their actions, when it actually encompasses much more.
• In the book "Checklist for Life-For Teens" page 54 starts the chapter on sex and intimacy. On page 55, we find a profound statement to answer this question (listed below).
• "Some couples try to redefine the word sex. As long as they don't go all the way, they figure they haven't had sex. They think they can nail their conscience on a technicality. Other couples draw an imaginary line, little by little, until eventually it disappears."
• Anything that tempts you to move forward with your lustful feelings and emotions (which must also be controlled) in a physical way is something that must be controlled.
• To put it bluntly...no. Your technicalities are not valid. Sex is sex, in whatever form it takes on.

The Solution:

• Surround yourself with people that will encourage you and help you maintain a sense of purity in your relationship. Read my previous post to get an idea of who those people should be.
• Building your relationship with God will help you set your mind on things above instead of things that are earthly. Colossians 3:2
• Eliminate things that tempt you. Whether that be found in technology or in a current relationship, we are told to do away with our old selves. Ephesians 4:22-24 & Colossians 3:5-17
• To expand on the previous point...if a current relationship is causing you to fall into sin, the right thing to do is to take away that temptation. Repentance is to turn away. If your partner will not choose to remain abstinent with you or encourage you to do the same, one must turn away from what will separate you from God.
• Technology is the largest cause of sexual immorality in today's society. Pornography is a disease that infects young and old minds alike. If pictures, videos, or social media outlets encourage you to participate or continually think upon sinful things...eliminate it. 
• Be honest and accountable. To your parents, your friends, or to your preacher. Whoever will uplift and guide you to remain abstinent, be accountable and open to them.

If you have already fallen into sexual sin and are thinking that it's too late or you're too far gone...you're not. You still have God's grace and forgiveness. By asking Him for forgiveness, you will receive it. BUT you must turn away from the sin. Repent (Acts 3:19). That is key. By turning away, you choose to remain abstinent in future relationships until marriage. 

I pray that you will find answers and hope in this post. If you have any questions, comment or contact me at karoberts98@gmail.com. 

                                                                                                                      God Bless, Kendall Roberts

Part One: Show Me Your Friends

"Show me your friends...and I'll show you your future."
I am not sure who exactly said this quote, but the first time I heard it was at church camp when our local football coach was giving the lesson. As a Christian, it's hard to find friends that share the same values. Not many people like to be alone. God Himself said so in Genesis 2:18. We may often surround ourselves with people who endanger our values to keep from being lonely. So, are your friends harmful to your Christianity?
1 Corinthians 15:33 states that who we choose to surround ourselves with will affect our integrity, our character, and our ability to grow in Christ.

So let's first evaluate the characteristics of people who threaten your Christianity.
 Anyone who engages in behavior that is considered sinful by God such as:

• Vulgar language.
• Drunken conduct.
• Sexual immorality.
• Tasteless conversation regarding inappropriate topics like the ones above.
• Shows a blatant and "faultless" lack of disrespect for authority.
• Makes cruel judgement towards others.
• Acts superior/bullies others.

Now I will list questions to ask yourself about your friends and their effect on you:

• Are they interested in making God a priority?
• Do they talk about God outside of church?
• Is any effort made to repair behavior that is contradictory to God's will? 
• Are they honest about their own faults or do they believe that change is not necessary?
• Do they encourage you in your Christian walk or encourage you to participate in their behavior?
• Do you find yourself more comfortable in aforementioned behavior when in their company?
• Are your actions/language careless and lenient when surrounded by "friends"?
• Is the temptation to participate in sinful behavior stronger when with "friends"?
• Do they encourage you to do things or act in a way that is sinful (peer pressure)?
• Do they make you embarrassed of your faith/forget about your standards?

Did any of these apply to you or your friends? I am aware that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins and falls short (Romans 3:23). If your friends are continually sinful without recognition of the fault in their behavior, that is a problem (Acts 3:19-21). If your friend "slips up", realizes this, and makes an attempt to change their behavior, that is the correct way to handle the situation. You must also ask yourself if your friends make meaningless promises to maintain your friendship. Do they actually intend on trying to better themselves? If you said no to this question and said yes to any one of the questions above, your "friends" may be stunting your relationship with God.

The Solution: 

• Work on being confident in your faith, making your standards clear to friends.
• Tell them what you will tolerate and, more importantly, what behavior you will not.
• You are commanded to forgive and give grace (Colossians 3:13), but you must encourage better behavior and refuse to let them influence you in a negative way.
• Although we are commanded to forgive, we cannot let our forgiveness make us blind to bad influences.
• If necessary, you must distance yourself from friends who will not support your decisions or faith. Not doing so will create an impasse on your attempts to further your faith/better yourself.
• You can still reach out and be a part of their lives, but letting them have a reoccurring and active part in yours will defeat the purpose of positive distancing. 
• Proverbs 13:20 tells us to surround ourselves with wise company.
• Proverbs 12:26 tells us to choose our friends wisely.
• Psalms 133:1 tells us why it is important that people stand in unity.
• Invite them to church. It is your responsibility to spread the Gospel to others. This does not mean you'll succeed. If you reach out and they refuse, that is up to them. All you are required to do is your part.
• Go to a role model in the church, someone older than you whether they are an old or young adult. Ask for advice and if they are able to help you, ask them for that as well.
• Work on your personal relationship with God and invite Him into every part of your life. People will begin to see that there is something different about you and wonder why. You will open doors for others by letting Christ shine through all that you do. Others will want to be a part of that. 

I hope I have helped in some way or pricked the hearts of those who needed it. If you have any questions, feel free to comment or email me at karoberts98@gmail.com. As always, you have my prayers.

                                                                                                                   God Bless, Kendall Roberts

5 Part Series: Introduction

In my first blog series, I will be discussing several problems that a young Christian will encounter and possibly struggle with. I will be using context from the Bible and other devotional books in my possession to provide the best possible advice and solutions to fighting against these problems. I will cover 5 different topics, each of which I know to be prominent issues in one's Christian walk. I encourage you to follow along and be open-minded while reading each post. When reading this, I do not wish for you to become offended by my statements nor do I intend for anyone to believe that I hold myself in the title position of a specialist or ultimate authority. I will be covering topics that I am familiar with because of my age. Many, I have struggled with while others I have not. I have been exposed to those specific struggles and have had many open up to me about them as well. The series will begin tomorrow, Thursday, February 22. I intend to post the following Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (God willing). I hope you all enjoy this series and share with friends, family, kids, fellow teens, etc. I pray that I can provide some helpful advice and also pray that God will help me aid someone in their Christian walk.
                                                                                                                  God Bless, Kendall Roberts

Beauty is...Pain?

1 Peter 3:3-4
Leave it to me to be controversial...again. I'm sure I am going to get quite a bit of detestation in response to this, but I shall continue.

Pageants. There are several pros, like gaining a platform in order to extend a positive influence. Or spending a considerable amount of time investing oneself in community service. I'm sure there are several others, but even though I truly believe these are important, I just as strongly believe they are often used in the attempt to mask the true focus of such events. It's in the title ya'll. Beauty Pageant. It's no secret that society has been doing it's best to diversify the fashion and model industry as of late. It's not necessarily a topic I'm passionate about. I'm no feminist. BUT, I do think that it is important to represent a different type of woman than the rail-thin, small-waist, conformed into false perfection, "representatives" that we see all over...well...everywhere. Pageants are no exception. I see no large attempt being made to widen the focus of what we see on stage. Being a member of the audience, I see too much importance being placed on the physical attributes of the girls whose hair, dress, makeup, smile, walk, talk, and body are seemingly perfect. Oh and let's not forget the same scantily clad girls walking around the stage, which is no different than walking around in your bra and underwear. Just because it is made of fabric that agrees more with water, doesn't make it any more respectable. I will now elaborate, but from a more personal point of view. From a girl who was not born with a petite frame, who is not even close to being tall, and as someone who struggles to find clothes that make me feel comfortable with my own body type, it is incredibly frustrating to see so much emphasis being placed on all of these things. When I see girls in bikinis walking around on stage being judged for every aspect of their physical appearance, it is almost an insult to the larger majority of us who couldn't possibly live up to those standards...even if we tried. 

Let me tell you one thing. It is difficult enough to have insecurities (we have wandered into the zone of one emotionally worn-out stereotype) but what makes it worse is when the ridiculous, unrealistic standards we place on ourselves are turned into a guideline for total acceptance and a priority for recieving an award. Let's not forget the hoard of girls who have starved themselves in order to look the way they think they have to...so they can have that beloved crown placed on their heads. It may be a sisterhood, but I see one repetitious flaw that is blatantly obvious. There may be diversity in skin color, but there is hardly any diversity in size or even beliefs. There is no acceptance for those who truly speak their mind, as seen on televised pageants. When conservative contestants are subject to backlash because they were honest and true to their beliefs, we see no respect for so-called "diversity". No matter how hard you may try to convince everyone of these pageants' sincerity, all I see is a desperate and feeble attempt to try and turn a poisonous and shallow event into something that embodies much more than that. My belief will not be changed until I actually start feeling good about myself while watching such contests, which has yet to happen. Until then, I stand firm in my belief that these pageants are warping the minds of young girls, who will now believe that being tiny, tan, and "perfect" is the source of all their happiness and success. Until more emphasis is placed on education, intelligence, and REAL aspirations rather than dresses, bikini "bods", and all physical attributes related, I will continue to feel nothing but disappointment in what many have accepted to be a true source of "inspiration" and "truth".

                                                                                                                              -Kendall Roberts