I am not sure who exactly said this quote, but the first time I heard it was at church camp when our local football coach was giving the lesson. As a Christian, it's hard to find friends that share the same values. Not many people like to be alone. God Himself said so in Genesis 2:18. We may often surround ourselves with people who endanger our values to keep from being lonely. So, are your friends harmful to your Christianity?
1 Corinthians 15:33 states that who we choose to surround ourselves with will affect our integrity, our character, and our ability to grow in Christ.
So let's first evaluate the characteristics of people who threaten your Christianity.
Anyone who engages in behavior that is considered sinful by God such as:
- Vulgar language.
- Drunken conduct.
- Sexual immorality.
- Tasteless conversation regarding inappropriate topics like the ones above.
- Shows a blatant and "faultless" lack of disrespect for authority.
- Makes cruel judgement towards others.
- Acts superior/bullies others.
Now I will list questions to ask yourself about your friends and their effect on you:
- Are they interested in making God a priority?
- Do they talk about God outside of church?
- Is any effort made to repair behavior that is contradictory to God's will?
- Are they honest about their own faults or do they believe that change is not necessary?
- Do they encourage you in your Christian walk or encourage you to participate in their behavior?
- Do you find yourself more comfortable in aforementioned behavior when in their company?
- Are your actions/language careless and lenient when surrounded by "friends"?
- Is the temptation to participate in sinful behavior stronger when with "friends"?
- Do they encourage you to do things or act in a way that is sinful (peer pressure)?
- Do they make you embarrassed of your faith/forget about your standards?
Did any of these apply to you or your friends? I am aware that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins and falls short (Romans 3:23). If your friends are continually sinful without recognition of the fault in their behavior, that is a problem (Acts 3:19-21). If your friend "slips up", realizes this, and makes an attempt to change their behavior, that is the correct way to handle the situation. You must also ask yourself if your friends make meaningless promises to maintain your friendship. Do they actually intend on trying to better themselves? If you said no to this question and said yes to any one of the questions above, your "friends" may be stunting your relationship with God.
The Solution:
- Work on being confident in your faith, making your standards clear to friends.
- Tell them what you will tolerate and, more importantly, what behavior you will not.
- You are commanded to forgive and give grace (Colossians 3:13), but you must encourage better behavior and refuse to let them influence you in a negative way.
- Although we are commanded to forgive, we cannot let our forgiveness make us blind to bad influences.
- If necessary, you must distance yourself from friends who will not support your decisions or faith. Not doing so will create an impasse on your attempts to further your faith/better yourself.
- You can still reach out and be a part of their lives, but letting them have a reoccurring and active part in yours will defeat the purpose of positive distancing.
- Proverbs 13:20 tells us to surround ourselves with wise company.
- Proverbs 12:26 tells us to choose our friends wisely.
- Psalms 133:1 tells us why it is important that people stand in unity.
- Invite them to church. It is your responsibility to spread the Gospel to others. This does not mean you'll succeed. If you reach out and they refuse, that is up to them. All you are required to do is your part.
- Go to a role model in the church, someone older than you whether they are an old or young adult. Ask for advice and if they are able to help you, ask them for that as well.
- Work on your personal relationship with God and invite Him into every part of your life. People will begin to see that there is something different about you and wonder why. You will open doors for others by letting Christ shine through all that you do. Others will want to be a part of that.
I hope I have helped in some way or pricked the hearts of those who needed it. If you have any questions, feel free to comment or email me at karoberts98@gmail.com. As always, you have my prayers.
God Bless, Kendall Roberts
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