This may be the most honest and selfish post I've ever put out there, which is probably saying something. It is also fitting for the first post on my blog. Sometimes, we feel afflicted. Sometimes, it isn't well with out souls.
"Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." -Philippians 4:8
WARNING: The use of "I" is very frequent, but this is personal, so bear with me.
I keep reading posts about the hurricane, eclipse, and other events that supposedly elude to the return of Christ in the Bible. Now, I am not well read on these verses or their meaning, so I am not sure what to think. I do know how I feel when I read them. Frankly, unsettled. Terrified. Definitely not the way I should. No, I should not feel this way and because I do, something is certainly wrong in my life. My faith is weak and there are many, many things that I need to fix. I have the amazing capability to overwhelm myself and exclude all rational thinking when something affects me emotionally. It makes dealing with these feelings almost impossible. So...I have decided that I am making some major changes in my life. Starting with social media.
There are some major perks to it, I know. Even so, I find myself constantly seeking approval and comparing myself to others. I become jealous of what other people have and how they look. In return, I feel horrible about myself. I am constantly angered by the actions of those who do not share my beliefs and do not respond with kindness. My ability to have patience and treat others with understanding/forgiveness is rarely put into practice. I honestly believe that media consumes and warps the attitude that God intends for us to have. Posts and other media users influence our mindset over time, often so slowly that we don't even notice. My attention span is faulty, as well as my perspective. When I think back on my life, I remember being a much different person than I am now. I miss that person. The time period that I often think on was a time when I didn't have the world and it's perilous entrapment's at my fingertips. That being said, I'm taking a break from the things that I know are changing me in a negative way. Facebook will remain with specific uses, but other accounts will be put to rest. I am tired physically/emotionally/mentally of feeling like a failure. I constantly tell myself "I need to change" and never commit or do the things I need to do. If you read to the end of this, I commend your concentration and patience. Thank you. God Bless.
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